Since everyone is jumping on the end of the year reflections, I might as well to. But I need to be reminded that I have to write this on paper. On the beginning of the year I started out as an 18 years old. Being born on the January 4, I was older than most of my peers. One of the first things I did that month was hold a gun with Venkataram. We were young and the freedom excited us. Hell we even went to smoke shops just to see what all the shit about.

Then there was a guy named Cody, who showed me the world of Pick-Up Artists. These were just a bunch of average looking guys picking up hot girls. That was the best way to sum it up. From there I learned that dating was only a game. Getting laid was a game. Girls became transparent and only a few stood out. The one girl that did stood out is who I believe is still a true friend today. That girl was Joanna, Cody’s FOIL. Yes, she silently agreed to what I have learned, how dating was a game and all that shit. However what learned from her was to have good qualities if you actually want to date women, not some sleazy pick up tricks. So I became the softie I was for the majority of 2011.

A week later, I met Andrea, the phantom. The person that everyone talked about and whom I never saw. When I finally met her I sorta like her, she did standout as far as the majority of women in american did. But in her a hipster crowd she’ll blend in like a chameleon. The problem to this woman was that this girl was Venkat’s oneitis. And oneitis is when you thoroughly believe a certain person is the one, despite the fact that they don’t like you in that way whatsoever. Other than that she had a boyfriend. That wasn’t a problem actually, it was my friend who was blindly in love with her. Before I met her Venkat was in a dark place. He liked her so much yet she never reciprocated. She made sure he never knew where she lived so she would have him drop her off a block away from her house. Flake of on every occasion. Lastly, not even tell him she was dating someone. I tell him that I mildly like her—not the exact words but somewhere along those lines. He gets pissed and doesn’t talk to me for two days until I say sorry and I bury whatever feelings I had for her.

For the time it was good that I didn’t do anything with Andrea because I met her Joanna Lynn on Valentines day. I like her. In that week we went two dates got kissed twice and that was it a week later. She didn’t want to be with me. What I should have kept in mind that the this was Andrea’s best friend. Andrea was sugar coater, so was Joanna. For a long time she was my oneitis. I believed that this was my punishment for what I have done to Venkat. I punishment I would face two times over.

Now we’re on to the what I call the era of dXCKs. This time I was Cody’s best friend, Wina’s friend—who is also Cody’s ex and “best friend” even now—and Joseph—Cody’s other best friend—friend. We were the group of friends I wanted. It was awesome too, we hung out, partied, and stayed out as late as we can. Then there was Jennifer who changed that. She dated Joseph for awhile and it wasn’t known until prom. She for awhile kept me away from the group.

Prom was night to remember. I danced with Joanna all night. The feelings of my hatred had been submerged by the feelings I had for that night. She again, became my oneitis. Venkat danced with a girl for the first time in his life and was horrible at it. To this day I still bag on him for that.

The grad party was a night forget. Jennifer had never went home after prom, she was there when I walked into the house. She had been there since. She had a lot to drink and almost slept with Kray. Joseph’s new found brother. She mad that Joseph was pissed at her for attempting to cheat on him. A girl cried because her boyfriend had an emotional breakdown and she didn’t know what to do. I brought Joanna to the party and made out with Kray. As the summer progressed, Cody told me that she had sex with him. It was traumatizing thought. You can say you’re fine after hearing something like that but image of what possibly went down, will haunt you for as long as you are reminded of it. Around the same time Joseph broke up with Jenny. Joanna had become the girl that not only lied to me, but unknowingly lead me on. I didn’t talk to her for a month.

During that month I met a guy named Curtis. He was one of the guys that was apart of the FCCC Youth. He was really cool guy when I met him. For the longest time they to introduce me to the Youth but instead I took the first step. Despite my views on religion and my own history, it was the best choice I’ve ever made all summer.

Dry period.

My first college semester. It was horrible. It was just like high school. I felt like I was in high school except they made it harder and you need to get an A in all of your classes. During my semester I met two women that stood out. Christina and Jessica. Things went well for the both of them for the longest time. For Jessica, it ended on the day she and I went to see a concert for an assignment. For Christina, she had a boyfriend. But that wasn’t my only trouble. Earlier I had told Wina how I felt about her. We spent a lot of time together, too much time actually. Of course I got the silent rejection but Cody hated me for what I did. From then on I changed. People were disposable now. So when I found out Christina had a boyfriend, I was able to bury whatever feelings I had for her. I’ve done it twice that year with Andrea and Wina, Christina is no different. Eventually she became another good choice, we’re friends and consider her one of my better friends. Eventually she taught me that I shouldn’t settle for second best, always strive for better. My options are never limited. 

My life now stands on what I want to do now. All of this has happened and what is left is how do I strive for better? The solution is a Finest Year. To actively work towards the alpha I’ve always wanted to be. Better yet, start a new decade as that man. So I’m spending age 19 to better myself. I would list my goals, but the list sounds horrible on paper. So horrible, you might want to ask these people why I was even friends with them.